Why is it that we only expect romance, one day a year? Romance and connection should happen every day! It’s a known fact, men work on a physical level and women on an emotional one. So why can’t we work together to get the things that we require from a relationship?
Men…Try treating a female like a “lady” and she will do her best to see the real you. You know that funny saying, “a lady for your mother, a teacher and nurturer for your future children and a freak in the bedroom for you”. How do you think that saying came about, because it’s possible; LOL.
Be soft and/or romantic and your lady will return the favor and satisfy you as much as you do her. Remember I said, men respond to physical but women respond to emotional. A happy woman, a woman that feels needed, wanted, loved and appreciated will return your desire ten fold. A true woman, an honest and faithful woman; when happy will basically do anything for the man or woman she loves! She will DO anything or BE anything that you need because as women, we want to connect.
Try new things to get new results! Take the time to get to actually know one another! One day a week, once every two weeks or even one day a month; have a date night, especially if the couple are parents. Try not to get stuck in regular life routines, try not to get stuck in specific roles unless it suites your relationship which I will explain later.
Scenario 1: Let’s say both adults and/or parents work full time jobs and we all know, during the workweek a person likes to relax. So help each other out and split the chores, don’t fall into gender roles. If one is a chef in the kitchen, the other needs to play clean up. If one works an eight hour day but the other works a twelve hour day, guess who wins?! LOL. Like I said, help each other out. When a person is less stressed with everyday mundane things that come with life, a whole new person can open up or immerge. Sorry but let’s be real, life can get depressing, so it benefits both in the relationship to work together.
More communication can get you places, don’t lie; use it. Tell each other what you actually expect or want from a relationship, take the time to actually date or court each other; go old school. Don’t give away the boyfriend/girlfriend title so quickly, take the time to get to know each other before committing. Too many relationships break up because of a lie or an untold truth. People need to stop settling and go after the things that they really want. And most of all, stop using one another! If there isn’t a real future, don’t waste their time; a person that goes ALL in deserves better.
Scenario 2: One works and the other doesn’t, don’t hold either role against the other. If that is the position you’re in, I hope it’s because the both of you sat down and talked about it. Try not to be lazy, it lets depression take over. Get up in the morning and make breakfast for the family or just help them get ready and off to work and/or school. Then breathe, take a shower, fix your hair, put on makeup if your female, pick out a nice outfit and tiddy up the house. If small tasks are completed everyday, large chores never exist.
If the monthly bills are paid and there are no pressing matters, find a hobby; one that lets you express yourself because a connection to yourself helps you to connect with others. If your significant other works long hours, start dinner around the time they get off work depending on travel time; food is always best served hot and fresh. Make sure they don’t come home to a mess, if you were the one working; you wouldn’t want to come home and feel like you couldn’t relax. It’s little things that will touch the heart of your partner and let them know they are important. If they are taking care of you, a relationship is give and take, compromise without insult; take care of them!!
Men…you have to compliment your woman and do it OFTEN! When a woman feels desired, it heightens her emotions and the need to connect with her man. We all know the way to connect with you is physical and even the most prudish woman will open to new possibilities for the one she LOVES.
Scenario 3: If you find yourself wondering about the what if’s or possibly feeling out of touch with your partner; please do not cheat on them, talk to your partner and come up with kinky and exciting ways to cheat with each other. Be creative and stale will be a thing of the past.
Scenario 4: One of my male friends came to me for advice, even though he didn’t know that’s what he was doing; LOL. Men…don’t be so filthy when you’re trying to be dirty, there is a difference. I did say, we as women are emotional. Communication is your friend whether you want to admit it or not but it’s all in how you use it! Remember you want her to play along.
Example: If she responds with, “I’m not one of the whores who used to do whatever you wanted with”. Guess what she’s right, you made her your wife. Something about her touched you enough to propose, you went through with the wedding and married her. You remember why but you let the male, asshole gene, take over; instead you need to learn how to really connect with her. If you want her to fulfill your fantasies, you have to fulfill hers too! It doesn’t matter how often curse words are used, whether one has a potty mouth and the other doesn’t; it’s how you present yourself and the words you choose in the heat of the moment, you’re hoping for.
His example: I texted her an hour ago and asked did she want to fuck when we got home and I got no answer. I bought her an apple watch for Christmas so I know she got my text. My response of course was, try using different words besides “fuck”. Text her “hey gorgeous, slip into something sexy like the tall drink of water I know you are. Cause baby, your husband is thirsty and I’m on my way home.” His reply of course was, “she cusses like a sailor and says that word a hundred times a day.” Its the principle, not the word. I’m trying to help you guys out, LOL. He in turn said, “okay I see your trying to be marriage counselor. I know how to get a girl naked if I want. The problem is I want it in return without initiating it”.
What he didn’t understand is, “relationship counselor” is just part of my personality and he knows that; it’s probably the reason he texted me, of all people to talk to. If you as men want us to initiate situations; we have to feel attractive to you, needed by you, wanted by you and loved by you and we are powerless or/even drunk with love. Women are emotional, hey yeah; one more time :). Cause with his tactic, it was quite apparent when she didn’t answer back, that he didn’t know how to get the girl naked. I meant it when I said it was the principle not the word used, it’s the effort put into it.
It’s the physics of the male/female process or relationship process. When men show us as women; emotion with appreciation, compliments that instill confidence, passion that creates desire, love and understanding can bring out the woman you’re looking for and she may actually appear. When we learn that we actually mean something to you and that we are not just a play thing to pass the time; we can be creative, imaginative, adventurous and/or dominating in the bedroom and believe me there is a difference between every word. I bet if you’re a man reading this, your eyebrows just went up. But fellas, women don’t just show, that most intimate side of themselves to everyone or just anyone unless that connection is present and alive; for women, we call it love. And for love, a woman will do almost anything. 😉
So next time you get scared or purposely mess things up, think “do you want to look back on your life and wonder, who was the one person that treated me the best or the one you most connected with”, when you should have never had to think back in the first place. You could’ve done something that day instead of thinking, “I’ll never be her prince Charming”. No woman really wants a prince Charming, we just want a man that is willing to be a true and honest partner, someone that is willing to stand with us and CARE. No one wants to end up alone but that should never be the reason a person settles. Let it be Valentine’s Day everyday.
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