Let It Be Valentine’s Day Everyday

What Women Want

Why is it that we only expect romance, one day a year? Romance and connection should happen every day! It’s a known fact, men work on a physical level and women on an emotional one. So why can’t we work together to get the things that we require from a relationship?

Men…Try treating a female like a “lady” and she will do her best to see the real you. You know that funny saying, “a lady for your mother, a teacher and nurturer for your future children and a freak in the bedroom for you”. How do you think that saying came about, because it’s possible; LOL.

Be soft and/or romantic and your lady will return the favor and satisfy you as much as you do her. Remember I said, men respond to physical but women respond to emotional. A happy woman, a woman that feels needed, wanted, loved and appreciated will return your desire ten fold. A true woman, an honest and faithful woman; when happy will basically do anything for the man or woman she loves! She will DO anything or BE anything that you need because as women, we want to connect.

Try new things to get new results! Take the time to get to actually know one another! One day a week, once every two weeks or even one day a month; have a date night, especially if the couple are parents. Try not to get stuck in regular life routines, try not to get stuck in specific roles unless it suites your relationship which I will explain later.

Scenario 1: Let’s say both adults and/or parents work full time jobs and we all know, during the workweek a person likes to relax. So help each other out and split the chores, don’t fall into gender roles. If one is a chef in the kitchen, the other needs to play clean up. If one works an eight hour day but the other works a twelve hour day, guess who wins?! LOL. Like I said, help each other out. When a person is less stressed with everyday mundane things that come with life, a whole new person can open up or immerge. Sorry but let’s be real, life can get depressing, so it benefits both in the relationship to work together.

More communication can get you places, don’t lie; use it. Tell each other what you actually expect or want from a relationship, take the time to actually date or court each other; go old school. Don’t give away the boyfriend/girlfriend title so quickly, take the time to get to know each other before committing. Too many relationships break up because of a lie or an untold truth. People need to stop settling and go after the things that they really want. And most of all, stop using one another! If there isn’t a real future, don’t waste their time; a person that goes ALL in deserves better.

Scenario 2: One works and the other doesn’t, don’t hold either role against the other. If that is the position you’re in, I hope it’s because the both of you sat down and talked about it. Try not to be lazy, it lets depression take over. Get up in the morning and make breakfast for the family or just help them get ready and off to work and/or school. Then breathe, take a shower, fix your hair, put on makeup if your female, pick out a nice outfit and tiddy up the house. If small tasks are completed everyday, large chores never exist.

If the monthly bills are paid and there are no pressing matters, find a hobby; one that lets you express yourself because a connection to yourself helps you to connect with others. If your significant other works long hours, start dinner around the time they get off work depending on travel time; food is always best served hot and fresh. Make sure they don’t come home to a mess, if you were the one working; you wouldn’t want to come home and feel like you couldn’t relax. It’s little things that will touch the heart of your partner and let them know they are important. If they are taking care of you, a relationship is give and take, compromise without insult; take care of them!!

Men…you have to compliment your woman and do it OFTEN! When a woman feels desired, it heightens her emotions and the need to connect with her man. We all know the way to connect with you is physical and even the most prudish woman will open to new possibilities for the one she LOVES.

Scenario 3: If you find yourself wondering about the what if’s or possibly feeling out of touch with your partner; please do not cheat on them, talk to your partner and come up with kinky and exciting ways to cheat with each other. Be creative and stale will be a thing of the past.

Scenario 4: One of my male friends came to me for advice, even though he didn’t know that’s what he was doing; LOL. Men…don’t be so filthy when you’re trying to be dirty, there is a difference. I did say, we as women are emotional. Communication is your friend whether you want to admit it or not but it’s all in how you use it! Remember you want her to play along.

Example: If she responds with, “I’m not one of the whores who used to do whatever you wanted with”. Guess what she’s right, you made her your wife. Something about her touched you enough to propose, you went through with the wedding and married her. You remember why but you let the male, asshole gene, take over; instead you need to learn how to really connect with her. If you want her to fulfill your fantasies, you have to fulfill hers too! It doesn’t matter how often curse words are used, whether one has a potty mouth and the other doesn’t; it’s how you present yourself and the words you choose in the heat of the moment, you’re hoping for.

His example: I texted her an hour ago and asked did she want to fuck when we got home and I got no answer. I bought her an apple watch for Christmas so I know she got my text. My response of course was, try using different words besides “fuck”. Text her “hey gorgeous, slip into something sexy like the tall drink of water I know you are. Cause baby, your husband is thirsty and I’m on my way home.” His reply of course was, “she cusses like a sailor and says that word a hundred times a day.” Its the principle, not the word. I’m trying to help you guys out, LOL. He in turn said, “okay I see your trying to be marriage counselor. I know how to get a girl naked if I want. The problem is I want it in return without initiating it”.

What he didn’t understand is, “relationship counselor” is just part of my personality and he knows that; it’s probably the reason he texted me, of all people to talk to. If you as men want us to initiate situations; we have to feel attractive to you, needed by you, wanted by you and loved by you and we are powerless or/even drunk with love. Women are emotional, hey yeah; one more time :). Cause with his tactic, it was quite apparent when she didn’t answer back, that he didn’t know how to get the girl naked. I meant it when I said it was the principle not the word used, it’s the effort put into it.

It’s the physics of the male/female process or relationship process. When men show us as women; emotion with appreciation, compliments that instill confidence, passion that creates desire, love and understanding can bring out the woman you’re looking for and she may actually appear. When we learn that we actually mean something to you and that we are not just a play thing to pass the time; we can be creative, imaginative, adventurous and/or dominating in the bedroom and believe me there is a difference between every word. I bet if you’re a man reading this, your eyebrows just went up. But fellas, women don’t just show, that most intimate side of themselves to everyone or just anyone unless that connection is present and alive; for women, we call it love. And for love, a woman will do almost anything. 😉

So next time you get scared or purposely mess things up, think “do you want to look back on your life and wonder, who was the one person that treated me the best or the one you most connected with”, when you should have never had to think back in the first place. You could’ve done something that day instead of thinking, “I’ll never be her prince Charming”. No woman really wants a prince Charming, we just want a man that is willing to be a true and honest partner, someone that is willing to stand with us and CARE. No one wants to end up alone but that should never be the reason a person settles. Let it be Valentine’s Day everyday.

Photo Credit: Wallpapers.in

How I Helped My Daughter Get Into College

As sad as this makes me, I have to say; the title of this blog should be changed to “How I Helped Your Kid Get Into College”! Taty has just never started to listen, yeah she says that she has dreams and wants to go to a specific college but with the path she is on; it’s not leading where she claims to want to go!!!

So from now on, I’m going to help your kid! If Taty wants to actually start acting like the young adult I have distressed myself to raise, she can use the information posted online here on wordpress.com from now on.

When I got home from work tonight, I started more research; as always I started with www.google.com. In which, lead me to several different websites that I have previously named in this very blog. Although, it doesn’t seem like this month is a scholarship rich month but these are the nine, I found that are after today’s date. Good luck.

  1. 2017 smpl. Scholarship     https://www.scfederal.org/scholarship                          Contact: Rebekah Pieper            rpieper@scfederal.org              Feb. 28th        $4,000    The scholarship will award $7,500 to 3 deserving students to use for college education. Submit an essay detailing how they are planning for their financial futures. Complete an online application, submit a transcript and letter of recommendation. Scholarship entries as early as Jan. 2nd. Winners announced in April 2017
  2. $2,000 “No Essay” Sweepstakes Scholarship      http://www.niche.com    Feb. 28th    http://www.fastweb.com
  3. $5,000 Welcome to 2017 Scholarship         Feb. 28th      http://www.coursehero.com    Complete in just 3 steps! Winners will be chosen based on a 150 word short answer response…”Do you prefer to collaborate with your peers or work independently?…Next step consists of a AP class or pre-college course information.
  4. Regions Riding Forward Scholarship Essay Contest     $3,500-$5,000       Feb. 28th       Celebrate Black History Month and the contributions of African-Americans. “Tell us about an African-American who has inspired and motivated you, and have the chance to secure a low or high amount scholarship.
  5. $1,000 February Scholarship                  https://colleges.niche.com/scholarships    Nationwide     high school freshman or above          Feb. 20th      Log in & apply
  6. TeenDrive365 Video Challenge           Discovery Education             Feb. 23rd              Create a 30-60 second video for your fellow teen driver that highlights the importance of safe teen driving, and you could win $15,000 or one of 14 other prizes. Grab your camera, recruit your friends, and submit a video
  7. $3,000 Easy Scholarship: Make a Historical Bookmark for Black History Month    http://www.dosomething.org            Feb. 28th              Make a bookmark telling the story of an often-forgotten figure or event. Place the bookmark in your textbook and upload a pic of it. You’ll automatically enter to win.
  8. $1,000 Easy College Money Scholarship      http://www.cappex.com        Awarded Monthly     No Essay required. Log in & apply
  9. Optimist International Essay Contest             $2,500          Feb. 28th                    Applicants must contact their local Optimist Club and submit an essay on the given topic: “Chasing Optimism in the Face of Challenges.” Applicants must be under the age of 18 as of Oct. 1st.      http://www.cappex.com

I do have to say, even though Taty is seventeen, she is still a junior and I think that keeps her mind young. Does that make sense? She wants to grow up but doesn’t. I figured she’d be tired of this little town and the mundane people and actually want to experience life. Maybe I’ll have a better chance with Chy, LOL.

Why is it that parents fight so hard to give their children an actual future and it’s so hard to get them to run with the opportunity? Teenagers are NO fun.

An Old Fashioned Opinion

Why, in this day in age, is it so hard for people to be upstanding, decent role models and citizens anymore? Why, is it that, parents do not understand their role in the upbringing of their children?

More children than I’m comfortable with these days are either sad, destructive, and/or alone. Why?! Please people, stop and take the time to TALK to your children! Spend time with them, have family nights once a week or once a month. Take the time to actually FIGHT for your children! It wasn’t their choice to be born, both parents SHOULD be held liable! When a woman chooses to bring life into the world, she has chosen to put herself in the background and to put her baby above her own needs.

I’m going to write about several situations that I just can’t stay quite about anymore. It bothers me to beyond belief, that children are not put on a higher pedestal. Children grow to become our next generation, it’s that simple. They are our legacy, our possibilities and our future. Sometimes the parent has to be the bad guy, as well as a friend, I know it’s confusing but hey it’s the way it is. You, as a parent, are responsible for the things that your children learn, YOU are their teacher.

We will start with a simple story first. My god-son invited me over to meet his girlfriend. I got there about an hour or so before she did and I took a good, long look at him. I asked, “Son, do you like this girl?” His response was, “Yeah ma. You know I do, I’m introducing her to you”. I let him know real quick that the “mom gene” was kicking and I was getting ready to break it down for him. “Sweetheart, is that what you’re wearing?” He looked at me dumb-founded. I told him, “It doesn’t matter if you change your shirt but you need to get in there and trade the stained jogging pants for some jeans and brush your hair. You said you liked her, right? Show her.” He did what I asked, shaking his head the whole time and then came back to the living room to chat. I just don’t understand what is wrong with impressing the person you like, it’s not that hard to show your interest with a little effort. Last thing I asked was, “Son, have you kissed this girl yet?” He blushed and answered, “Ma, I’m not going to talk to you about that” as he laughed. I asked again but explained more bluntly, “If you plan on getting kissed today, just do me a favor and go brush your teeth. Sweetie it doesn’t take much to show her, you like her.”

This is a story of one of my friends from childhood. When divorce is the only option for a family, the parents are always supposed to put their children first. In a separation, the adult’s feelings are NO longer the priority! The children should always be, THE most important, throughout the whole situation. What happens, when the dad is the one standing up taller than the mom? We applaud the dad of course! But he has to have the backbone to, really STAND tall. Yes, I will never understand the women that are able to carry a child for nine months, to nourish an extension of themselves and just walk away or not do everything within their power for that child!? It is your job as a parent, even if you are in the most pain in the world over the breakup, to keep it behind closed doors. As mean and painful as it sounds, you NO longer matter. You are a parent and putting them in the middle of those situations is inexcusable, that is emotional damage that does not need to involve the children. Don’t talk bad about the other parent! That is YOUR opinion and the children deserve the right, to form their own. If you need to cry, piss or moan; do it in private. Don’t make excuses, show results! Too much stress on a young mind can cause all kinds of psychological issues that they will possibly need therapy for later in life. They are young teens, they are smart and they are not blind or deaf. The mom has shown mental issues and instability in more than one instance!!! You have the power to help yourself! You are a parent, grow up and suck it up buttercup; your children’s emotional well being is more important than uncalled for, childish, and insane outbursts! And dad, stop letting her get away with it, your children should be the most important thing through this separation and divorce. “She can only do to you and the children, what you allow her to do!” If you see them in pain or distress and/or being put in harmful situations, put a stop to it! You are not defenseless and it’s not that you want to throw a jab at the wife/ex-wife, you are putting the children’s welfare above the feelings of either one of you. THAT is what you are suppose to do as a parent, put your children first!

My own daughter was a huge reason, I am so old fashioned I think, LOL. She may kill me now but when she becomes a mother way later in life, I hope of a little girl :), she will retell this story. When she was twelve, I let her go to a birthday party at a friends house; I dropped her off and picked her up. A day or two later, I was on the phone and opened my scrap notebook to write down a number, to see a very personal journal entry. I have no idea why it wasn’t written in her diary where it would’ve forever stayed private but instead, in my living room phone notebook? I was very sad for the words I read and immediately drove her back over to the party house. I explained to the parents, “I have no idea why you weren’t watching the children, you invited over to your home? Children between the ages of ten and twelve should never have been alone long enough to play spin the bottle and seven minutes in heaven the entire time. Call me old fashioned but to me, that is too young and not appropriate, so my daughter will not be associating with yours in the future.” And I turned and walked away with my daughter in hand. Why is it so hard for the parent to actually be involved in and with their children’s lives? Embarrassingly my child was not allowed to go to other people’s houses after that, everyone came to my home. I’m going to be up in my daughter’s business. I’m going to be corny and funny, intrusive, bossy and strict. That is my job as her mother. She was lucky, if I didn’t hang out with her and her friends the entire time they were over, LOL. But guess what, I am the one responsible for her. I am the one that will watch her, talk to her, show her praise and tell her the truth; the good and the bad. “Don’t do as I do wrong, learn from what I have done wrong!” is one of my sayings. I am there as her mother to show her, I want better for you! When I was reprimanding my daughter again at fourteen over text messages I explained, “I am trying to raise a young lady that will have pride and respect within herself and can hold true to moral values. You are a gem and you worth so much more than you give yourself credit for!” She was forced to put up on all social media that she was grounded until she could learn to talk and act like a young lady, for about seven months. I may have been bossy and nosey but my daughter grew up strong and stubborn, talented and beautiful, intelligent and infectious, as well as loud and very funny. She lights up any room she walks into when she’s in a good mood and her friends can tell immediately when she’s not. She is hard working and very empathetic. Church is a big part of her life and she has already been approved to a very prestigious university, waiting for testing to get her accepted. I couldn’t be prouder of the way she has blossomed into such a responsible and genuine young lady. I think it goes to show that connecting with your child can NEVER be a bad thing but instead show them the possibilities of what can be, if given half the chance. Knock that teenage chip off their shoulder and be the shoulder they can lean on!

I just argued earlier this week with my youngest daughter’s father because I never have an up to date phone number for him. I know times get tough and when you use a prepaid company and your bill goes unpaid for so long, they give anyway the number. But I as his daughter’s mother, should never call the number he gave me and reach a stranger at seven-thirty in the morning. I apologized for calling so early, I was embarrassed and upset that I couldn’t get in touch with her father without going through his poor parents. I looked back through my notes and counted he has had over fifty different phone numbers since 2005. Our daughter was very recently attacked by a rescue dog that she was asked repeatedly not to go around but hey she is twelve, an animal lover and how often do children really listen. We ended up in the emergency room and she was released with a doctor’s note from gym for seven to ten days. Since I can’t ever get him on the phone, I decided to say everything that I needed to say, to give myself peace as well as try to get my daughter’s father back for her. I demanded that he stand up, be a man and be the dad she deserves. At first he was offended but it was the truth. Currently he lives a quarter of mile down the driveway from his parents on their land and yes he does work but why is it that my daughter drops him off at his trailer and goes home with nana ALL the time?! For over a decade, she cried and complained that, one day a month wasn’t enough daddy time! I’ve had plenty of discussions with him and his parents on this very subject over the years. I have had major issues with dating or even having male friends because of her abandonment issues, she would immediately cling and get attached to any male that came around me, so I almost literally stayed single. See the background to this story is, right after she turned one and was learning how to walk; she fell and hit her face which in turn, turned into two black eyes :(. I immediately called her dad and told him that she was trying to run after her sister and fell, like the responsible other parent is supposed to do. I dropped her off on Friday for normal visitation and when I came back to pick her up there were no trespassing signs up and a sheriff waiting to arrest me if I even tried to pick up my daughter. He was man enough to be honest and tell the sheriff as well as protective services and later the judge, “Her mom has never laid a hand on either of her daughters and I have never worried about that but I do worry about who she is bringing around my child”. Yup that BS actually flew. Her father and his parents, basically held her hostage on their property for close to ten months while waiting for court because if I would’ve seen them out at a grocery store; I could’ve picked her up and took her with me and they wouldn’t have been able to stop me. When we finally got to court, the judge told him, “No matter what social services says was in your best interest, it was not in the best interest of your daughter”. Basically, he legally kidnapped our daughter. “Sir, that was so immoral, that I have to ask the mother…what custody do you want ma’am?” Because I have always put my daughter’s needs above my own I simply told the judge, “My oldest daughter doesn’t have the option of a father, he was under some insane notion and thought he was trying to protect our daughter and I believe he wants to be a real dad. But because of his asinine choices, my own daughter doesn’t know me or her sister anymore and we have to do this respectfully for my daughter’s mental health. She is the only one that matters, so I am asking for shared/joint custody, holding physical custody with myself and I hope we can put our feelings aside to work together for our daughter in the future”. I was naïve in thinking that he would do more. The judge set what I asked for and my parents almost disowned me but I had to do what was right and put my daughter’s emotional, spiritual and mental well being first over my own feelings and theirs. I told him during our recent conversation that especially because of the past, she DESERVED more. He should’ve been with her since day one of joint custody, every moment possible! His argument was, he works. Half the time, he was chasing some skirt, I left that part out and I simply stated, “When she isn’t in school and I am not at work myself, where do you think she is? With me, ALL the time, I am her mom and that’s exactly what you should’ve been doing for the last twelve years as her father”. I expressed how painful it is to see her abandonment issues and how she begs for his attention. I told him to start being the dad she deserved or be the father I was taking back to court. We currently have joint custody with me having physical. I will be asking for sole/primary/physical custody, not to take anything away from him or his parents but THAT title is earned by actually being a parent. I have always put her needs first and included the other side of her family against my own families wishes. I have begged long enough for her dad to notice his own daughter. I love my daughter and I have fought for her, to have the chance at happiness and a connection with both parents and not just one. The courts ordered every other weekend and every Wednesday. I give her nana every weekend and most school vacation times, I have the whole twelve years, in hopes that she will be able to spend more time with her dad because that’s what a responsible mother is supposed to do; demand more for your child. I don’t have a clue when he will take the ear plugs out and finally listen. To actually realize that I am not trying to hurt him or control him, I want what is best for our daughter and I will always fight for that!

This last story is a doozy. An extended young family member will be a topic I will discuss, not to hurt her but in hopes of helping her! Someone needs to tell the truth, so that maybe she can open her own eyes and see that she desperately needs someone to stand up for her, whether she knows it or not. This one story will cover so many subtopics within that it disturbs me. It started with this girl, a bestfriend and her inappropriate aged boyfriend. Next thing you know, she has stolen the best friend’s boyfriend. At fifteen years old, she should’ve never had the opportunity to call an eighteen year old boy, her boyfriend. To make it worse, the bestfriend was only twelve! The parents and step-parents tried to end the situation and forced her to break it off. For months the twelve year old, ex-bestfriend, and eighteen year old started a relationship again and were seen together even after being turned into protective services and the police. Which seemed to take months to see a result but before a real case could be made against this eighteen year old pedophile, the family moved. The ex-best friend’s family moved away as well. It’s on social media that he has moved right on to another very young helpless victim! I hope the police and social services are able to do something about him before another young lady’s life is devastatingly affected. After they moved away, she was caught lying, skipping school and doing drugs. I tried to advise her step-mom to discuss with the father, filing for emergency temporary custody. “Someone should have been watching her, talking to her, she shouldn’t have had all that free time to do the things she is in trouble for, she should’ve never been soooo alone at a young age, especially being female with all the emotions we bring to the table. Her dad wasn’t given the choice to participate in her upbringing because of the mom but she is his daughter.” I finally got together enough guts to tell him myself, “I know it isn’t exactly my place but I am family and I care!!! Please don’t just close or delete this message, I really need these words read. Not to hurt you at all but to help your daughter. She deserves a parent that is going to stand up for her and put their foot down. I know that YOU can be IT, you are an amazing father. It’s what makes me respect you so much as a man, for the dedication and effort you put forth as a dad and a husband. Your daughter needs the same love and commitment. You are right, she needs boundaries. I am not saying that her mom is a bad mom but she has made bad choices and it is in the best interest of the child to be placed in a different situation. Her mom has had a traumatic brain injury, from what I know it causes memory loss. Which is not her fault at all but it has resulted in the security issues with your daughter. With the co-parent, her step-dad (which should have always been you, her father!) is always gone at work and only home on the weekends, I believe. I know her step-dad loves her mom and her but he is not the person that should be backing the mom up. And the step-dad just found out that mom has been lying when she tells him that she keeps their daughter grounded during the week while he’s out of town. Currently you live a couple blocks from each other, there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t know your own daughter. I do blame her mom for that. As a parent, you put the child’s needs above your own; always. I have learned that you have to force them to talk. You have to pull them into conversation, no matter the topic. No child really wants to talk to their parents but if we don’t get involved, it’s quite evident that a child feels terribly alone. We have to be corny, intrusive, bossy and strict. I told your wife a week and a half ago that your daughter’s Instagram felt off to me, it wasn’t the pictures. It was the way the captions had been stated, dark. By the time your wife was able to look her page up, the captions had been changed or the pics just deleted. Your daughter really needs help, show this message to her doctor or whatever you have to do to get your daughter the help she needs. Your home is stable, with two parents that actually spend nights under the same roof, she has two half sisters that love her very much. Yes, there are things you as a couple are working on but you’re truthful in the love and need you both have for each other. I think she would benefit from staying with you for a little while. She can be monitored and someone will always be there if she needs someone to talk to! Cutting is a cry for help so loud, it should bust eardrums. Someone hurting so deeply that they try to turn the pain from emotional to physical in hopes of releasing it. In hopes that when it scars, the pain is somehow gone. No I have never participated but I am a very empathetic person, I try to understand why so I can do my very best to help them through. Remember I was the first to have a kid in our family, experience is knowledge. And when I was sick recently and my daughter showed her ass, who did I want in my corner to help with her?! The both of you, you and your wife. A united front of strong and caring people (family) that could help me and I would tell anyone else that ever asked your daughter is in need of an actual loving and stable two parent household. So that the child can not just run over the single parent, a united front that’s home every night gives a parent the power to enforce the rules without having it come down to bad situations whether it be emotional or physical. I had my downs with boys and my own daughter in 9th grade. Somehow we got through it and if you’re there for your daughter and make her talk, I hope you’ll make it through as well. A young woman’s emotions and hormones can make choices for her that she didn’t think she would make. I haven’t let my daughter out of my sight since twelve, until this year at seventeen. The moment I asked you to take my daughter over, is a RARE moment, she doesn’t do things like that. It surprised and hurt me so I know what it’s like to have that moment where you’re like, ‘who is she, this isn’t my little girl right now?’ Your daughter’s mother has put you in this very position all of her life and that again is never fair. So please, give me and your daughter some peace and fight for her. Fight to be the dad she has always needed but never had the option of, fight to be her rock, fight to show her how a real man is suppose to treat a woman because you show us ALL that everyday from your commitment. You are a strong man and she is your daughter, a piece not only of her mother but of you too. I bet she can strive to be as strong as you, with you as a teacher. Please think about filing temporary emergency custody as soon as possible so that when she does get out of that hospital you can have the option to help. I know it’s hard, having been stuck watching from the sidelines but you can change that. You can be the one to help pull her out of this darkness and show her the light and imagination life can bring. I love you, I hope this helps if at all possible. I am there if you need family in your corner. You and your daughter are in my prayers and I will be hoping she grows to be the talented, amazing, beautiful, smart young woman we already know she is. Give her a ton of kisses for me and let her know if she ever needs to call, you guys have my number.” I meant every word. Within a week of her being released from the hospital there was talk of her mother taking her to get a piercing and tattoo. I was like, oh hell no, she is getting rewarded? She’s been hurting herself, scared the crap out of everyone in the family and needs help! Her father tried to put his foot down with the law on his side, referring to their joint custody and as far as the rest of the family know, she only got her nose pierced. Her mother said it was a late sixteenth birthday present to keep the arguments down. Like I said as far as we know, she didn’t get the tattoo. Regrettably her mom has to have a second brain surgery which is scary all in itself! She needs a strict, loving parent more NOW than ever, that will actually set ground rules and show her that she can have more pride in herself and that there is more out there for her!!! She needs to keep a steady therapist and family that can hopefully help straighten her path back out. Sixteen turns to seventeen and seventeen turns to, the real start of life.

As parents, ALL of us should be held accountable for our children’s well being whether it be emotional, physical, mental, spiritual, and/or financial. Being a parent is not a burden but a blessing! I wish more parents remembered that!

How I Helped My Daughter Get Into College

Jan. 21, 2017

 I had fallen asleep watching TV but woke up with this burning need to write. It’s a few minutes past midnight, just barely Saturday and last we left off, Taty was supposed to have completed some essays but she got sick. I still demanded at least one fricking essay and when I left for work Wednesday she was doing it. She had pen and paper which doesn’t make sense to me because when typed, additions can be made so easily and things can be corrected without a bunch of scribbles? I don’t know, I guess it’s the OCD in me. I also, find it easier to get over writer’s block when sitting in front of a computer.

What bothers me is the fact that I have been asking for a couple essays for days and I haven’t received the first finished one. I’m worried you guys! When the ACT and SAT are complete, she is in. She has already been approved, the test scores will get her ACCEPTED but what I can’t seem to make her understand is in-school scholarships may not cover everything and I am fricking broke. Even the essay stuff should be important to her, I thought it had registered for her when she went out and got a job so she could pay for her college deposit.

This is how our holiday weekend and beginning of our week went, both Tatyana and I worked Friday night, Chy went to her Nana’s and then Victoria came over Saturday to chill with Taty. Sunday Chy came home for family dinner at Shannon’s house with Grampy and I told Taty whether she had company or not, I wanted some essays. They were out of school for Martin Luther King, Jr. and two teacher work days, there was plenty of time to work with even though we were both working. Of course, it didn’t work out that way because everyone that attended dinner woke up sick, lucky me because I was at work that night.

Why is it so important, that I want a better life for my children if I can’t open their eyes to see? I can’t make it happen for them. This is one of the many frustrating parts of being a parent. I don’t hit my children, never have but I will put them in the corner or make them do book reports in a heartbeat 🙂. I try to keep my kids talking, whether it be embarrassing or not. Children need connection whether they want it or not; or the feeling of being alone can quadruple. You should show your children that there are, greater possibilities just waiting for them if they just take the time to notice. Teenagers really don’t want to grow up but still want you to treat them like adults. I know it’s a conundrum, LOL. We’ve all been through it, it’s part of our journey through life. With age comes experience. With experience comes knowledge. And with knowledge comes choices. Choices to NOT have your children follow in your footsteps but to learn where to avoid the cracks. I tell my teen all the time, “Don’t do as I’ve done wrong, learn from what I have done wrong!” Taty claims it should be my next tattoo, LOL.

I’ve always been honest with my children, with whatever question they have ever asked me. I learned that from my dad; thank you. Believe me, your child will respect you more for your honesty than to feel as if you’ve lied to them. I’m not saying to be their friend over being their parent but a child must know that they have someone they can talk to. If that can’t be you, make sure someone else is. Find out what they’re dreams could possibly be and take the time to help them achieve it. The connection it can bring to the parent/child relationship could surprise you. Yes, they (a teen) can be irritating and make you want to give up but don’t. I’ve only been back at the college binder game a week with Taty and I want to pull out what hair I do have left 🙂 already.

As a parent, I must be willing to concede; to put my feelings aside and do everything I can to help my daughter. If that means going gray earlier than expected from stress to get Taty into college, then so be it; I look good with some salt and pepper.

In my haste and the distraction of work, I forgot to ask Taty to hand over her essay. So, that job is left up to tomorrow or well, later today. I did the research and gave her around eight detailed options, she had plenty to choose from. She doesn’t work tomorrow and better not ask to have company. Taty hasn’t touched her chores really in days and sick is not an excuse anymore. She may dislike, that scholarship essays will now make it into the chore list but hey a mom must do what a mom must do.

A wise parent will tell you, “they’ll understand when they get to be your age or go through similar experiences”; many probably have. It’s not the circumstances that define you but what you choose to do when the outcome presents itself. Tatyana’s outcome can be to go to a prestigious Christian University and graduate with an amazing and stellar education.

Through this process, I hope to show the parents of future students that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. So…roll the window down, blare the music and pray with me that Taty spreads her wings. I know she is a good kid, I raised her LOL. I think if we had already heard back from just one of the many scholarships that she has entered over the almost two-month period, she might have more drive. I just hope she can use that to push her to do more and give herself as many chances as possible.

That’s why I had so much research done before and bugged her so much because how many does she have to enter before she gets a bite, who knows? I should’ve been online looking up more choices of scholarships with future deadlines but I couldn’t stop myself from typing what was on my mind. Time to lay back down…converse with you later 🙂

  

Jan. 23, 2017

It’s just after midnight again and I felt the need to write. I sat Taty down and talk to her like I talk to you guys in this blog, it did seem to register. It wasn’t the normal teen stuff where you can tell they’re acting like their listening just to get the parent to hush. She really seemed to listen. The essay she did end up writing was good, it was for the “I Have a Dream” Scholarship and I wish her luck. The essay was really touching.

She has a full schedule this week with school and work but I hope to get at least two more essays out of her; wish me luck, LOL. Tomorrow is Monday, my normal day off, and we have doctor’s appointments in the morning for Chy and in the afternoon for Taty. I hope to get some research done and gather everyone some more options but until then here are a few.

(1)    Technology Addiction Awareness Scholarship

http://www.digitalresponsibility.org/technology-addiction-awareness-scholarship

high school freshman+             U.S. Citizen                          Any Age

Complete the application form including a 140-character message about technology addiction for the chance to win $1,000                                                          Jan. 30, 2017

Start essay with: Instead of spending time with technology, I’d rather…if selected, will be asked to write a full length 500-1,000 word essay on the same topic

(2)    The DuPont Challenge is North America’s premiere science essay competition, encourages you to delve deep into your interests in science, technology, engineering, and math (STEM) and express yourself with creativity and purpose.                                       Jan. 31, 2017

Grades 6-12                       13 years+                         in U.S. school

Apply online official entry form through http://thechallenge.dupont.com/essay/entryform/ 

*include a bibliography of your source material (MLA style is recommended)

1st – $5,000                           2nd – $3,000                     3rd – $1,000

*win a U.S. savings bond

(3)    $2,000 No Essay Scholarship                                                     Jan. 31, 2017

Log into http://www.fastweb.com/scholarships/ and apply for this sweepstakes scholarship

(4)    Let Girls Learn $500-$1,000 Awards                                   Feb. 1, 2017

http://www.cappex.com/                    high school freshman+

Applicants must create a 3-5 minute video that create awareness and focuses on solutions about such subjects as the education of girls, economic independence for girls, redefining beauty and other critical issues. Multiple topic ideas are available

Connecther            lila@connecther.org             www.connecther.org

(5)    NC Jagannathan $3,300 Scholarship                                Feb. 1, 2017

https://www.unigo.com/scholarships/                      

Applications are available online at the College Foundation of North Carolina (CFNC) website. Must complete application and be nominated

I hope this information helps in getting my daughter and everyone else interested in college with the drive to go after the money to complete their goal. I plan on making an appointment with the college counselor/rep for later this week, when I pick up Taty for her doctor’s appointment. I would also like to visit DCC’s computer library to print for the college binder. But tomorrow will be a juggle.

How I Helped My Daughter Get Into College

January 17, 2017

The first website I came across in my google search this afternoon was http://collegeapps.about.com/od/grantsandscholarships/tp/college-scholarships-january.htm titled AboutEducation – College Scholarships with January Deadlines where I found thirty-four possible choices that yes, do not match up completely with Tatyana but may match up to one of your children. There are thirty listed for the month of February and eighty-nine for the month of March. I always try to get at least three months of information at a time because look what happened when Taty took her break; my frustration let me take one too but left her with not a lot of items to work with.

Taty missed out on the Young Patriots Essay Contest, Gates Millennium Scholars Program, The North Carolina Hispanic College Fund, Profile in Courage Essay Contest, Dell Scholars Program, EditRevise Scholarship Essay Contest and Prompt Scholarship Essay Contest which totaled up to $58,500. That’s just for January dates already passed, it’s not counting what was missed since November 20, 2016 when her break started.

The break did give me time to figure out how to make my blog a reality, so the information could be presented to all of you….Yay, finally and I am very pleased to be with wordpress.com.

For my second website, within twenty minutes of being on http://www.fastweb.com/college-scholarships/scholarships I found seven more January Scholarships to add to my list and completed some entries that a mom can make. I registered as a parent and secured her for $10,500 in four sweepstakes scholarships. I mean parents, how easy is that. I will continue to hit these kinds of scholarships up while I get the future deadlines and information in order.

Fastweb connected me to https://colleges.niche.com/scholarships/, http://www.collegeweeklive.com/ , https://www.coursehero.com/scholarships/, https://www.scholarshipowl.com and https://www.scholarshippoints.com/. I hope these links help you, the readers, because I know Taty will appreciate the information they have provided.

Oh, yes it happened again, I forgot to add; essays did NOT get completed. Tatyana had a friend over this long weekend and Victoria ended up sick, so yup you guessed it; Taty did too the following day. I had advised Taty that she owed me some “Get in to College” time on Tuesday before she headed off to work. Yup you read that correctly too, LOL. She has started her first job and you guessed it already too, she found out employment can be stressful. But like I told her, you won’t work there but another year because YOU will be headed to college. So as the nagging mom I have asked, “Baby I know you’re sick but you still need college money, come on sweetheart. Work with me!” The sickness took over and mom got ignored L. This part of having to be the nagging bad guy sucks as a parent! So, I spent my afternoon doing research while she slept and I can’t exactly yell at her because the body heals and works while it’s sleeping.

I know it’s late, like fifteen to midnight but I’m going to wake Taty up and get her to take some more medicine. I will be asking her again tomorrow, well demanding she work on some essays. She has tomorrow off but I do have to work at the restaurant in the afternoon, so wish US luck 🙂 !

In Need of Test Readers

If interested, please feel free to contact me via email or leave a comment. I thank you ahead of time for your attention.

 

Let me introduce you to a new set of heroines in these funny, action packed, historically rich books under the collection, A Vampirik Hunter Series. This series is meant to empower young ladies with strong female lead characters and to reconnect readers to history of all ages.

I envision them to be the size of a Goosebumps book, always fifteen chapters and are about 200 pages or less. The vocabulary is understandable for readers as young as seven years old. Young adults usually don’t choose to read a big thick book, LOL. I bring the premise or new chapter of the series out in chapter fourteen of each book, as an introduction to the next in the collection. There is always a sneak peek into the series at the end of each book to help keep you hooked.

In these books, you see there is no such thing as good vampires! When the soul leaves the body, evil replaces it. I wanted there to be a real distinction between the good and bad characters of my books.

I have three written; Book 1: Helen, Book 2: Lee and Book 3: Rosalee. I am looking for test readers, ages from 9 to 50s. I hopefully geared them toward all age groups but they will be listed as Young Adult Historical/Paranormal Fiction. In the three books completed in this series, there is one kiss and only one cuss word. The main character gives the dirty mouth little boy a vocabulary lesson along with one in etiquette.

The back of Book 1: Helen

In a world of violence and beauty, Helen, an underestimated teenager and vigilante wonders around cleaning up the evil from the streets. As her beautiful memories turn into nightmarish images that loom in her mind of the night that would haunt and control her forever; the night her family was murdered.

This first mini-novel in the series begins in summer of 2001 and ends in December of 2010; taking place in the United States. The main character ends up helping the police with a ton of criminals but her true mission is ridding the world of vampires; her sworn enemy. Helen uses her quick wit, extensive training, and butt-kickin’ boots; along with pencils instead of stakes and with holy squirt guns, she dispatches these foul creatures into piles of dust beneath her feet.

In Helen’s world, vampires are still lost to the ways of creating more, it’s a mystery. A vampire bite almost always results in death, like poisonous venom from a snake. Only a select few know the real reason why they were chosen.

With the help of an Indian Tracker named Snowy Wolf, Helen survived her attack and was given the guidance and training needed to protect herself and the human race around her.

Will Helen ever come face to face with the vampire gang that murdered her family?  Will she ever find a true connection to the outside world again?  Will the secret of how to make more foul creatures be revealed…Will Helen be allowed to fall in love with Jason or will it be bittersweet?

Take a journey and see life through Helen’s eyes as you read the first book of this Young Adult Paranormal Fiction collection.

 

If this sounds interesting to you, please contact me! I am curiously looking for test readers of ALL ages. If you’re an adult, read it and tell your children about it. When you’re finished reading be honest, whether you liked it or you didn’t. Picture telling someone else about why they should or why they shouldn’t read these books. I want honesty, because truthfulness from either aspect will show me whether I should devote myself to find a Literary Agent to bring them to publish.

How I Helped My Daughter Get Into College

Jan. 16, 2017

I hope you’ve read Entry 1 because it contains a lot of information that is necessary if you want to help your children get into college and covers our journey from October 15, 2016 to November 20, 2016. If you did take the time to read it, you’d know that at the end of it; I gave Taty the option of working at her own pace. Well here we are and with NO new essays 😦

So now she doesn’t get a choice, it’s back to being the pushy mom. She currently has time off for the holiday and I did informed Taty earlier today that she owes herself and I an essay or two tomorrow. She has completed everything except testing to be fully accepted to Liberty University as a high school junior and I couldn’t be prouder but Taty needs this outside scholarship money just in case the in-school scholarships that she qualifies for do not cover the entire yearly balance.

Her choices are already limited because of the time she took off at the end of November and all of December. I only had eleven scholarships researched for January information and deadlines and seven are crossed off because the dates have passed.

Looks like me, “mom” has some more research to do so Taty, Nikki, Becca and the readers can have as many options as are available to students their age.

Wish me luck, LOL.